Saturday, October 30, 2010

Rend

You’ve been tarnished
And you’ve been stained
And all the varnish you’ve used to cover up with is peeling away

CHORUS
Yet even now, return to me with nothing less
Than your wounded, broken heart
Cling to Me, your gracious King
Be shattered glass of empty jars and rend
Rend, rend, rend
Rend your hearts

You’ve been tarnished
And you’ve been stained
And all the varnish you’ve used to cover up with is peeling away

(Chorus)

I don’t need a grand display
Show me that your heart has changed
I don’t need a show
Only just to know your own heart breaks

'Rend' by Jimmy Needham


I really like this song. It gets to a place that I wish I could hide. This is such a vulnerable place to be. But, through this song, I realize that I don't have to wait until I've got everything together before I go to Him. He wants me to come to Him with and in my brokenness and bring my wounded self under His grace.

Here's what dictionary.com said rend means:
(the
"to separate into parts with force or violence.

to tear apart, split, or divide

to pull or tear violently (often fol. by away, off, up, etc.).

to harrow or distress (the heart) with painful feelings."


I think all of these fit what this song is talking about, but I want to focus in on the last one: to harrow or distress (the heart) with painful feelings. To harrow means "to disturb keenly or painfully; to ravish, violate; despoil". The definition of despoil is "to strip of possessions, things of value".

I also looked up the definition of tarnished which means "to diminish or destroy the purity of; stain". The definition of cling is "to hold tight, as by grasping or embracing; to be or remain close; attachment".

I find these definitions very interesting, and also very difficult when applied to the context of this song. I mean, look at what God is calling us, desiring us, even, to do! I just look at these definitions, and it is so crazy. I mean, our possessions are things we have worked hard to keep, and He is asking us to give them up, literally to strip ourselves of them. And these aren't tangible possessions He is talking about. No, He's talking about the things in our lives that we have hung onto and have not allowed Him to have. If we would just let Him have them, we would find so much healing and freedom.

I look at the definition of tarnished and totally relate to being stained and having my purity destroyed. He sees that and still invites me to come and cling to Him. Cling: to hold tight, as by grasping or embracing. He invites us to just be and remain close to Him. He wants us to attach ourselves to Him, even in our brokenness.

And, to be honest, I hate the other definitions: those of harrow and especially that last definition of rend. He wants us to violate our hearts with painful emotions. One definition of violate is "to break". He wants us to break our hearts with painful emotions.

I looked up what Jimmy Needham had to say about His song. Here's what he says: "The book of Joel speaks of a time of judgment and devastation for God's people because of their sinful ways. And yet, even in the midst of judgment the Father's compassionate hand is extended. "Even now," declares the LORD as He invites Israel to turn from their sins and cling to Him alone. However, as He invites His people back into relationship with himself, there is one requirement from God. "Rend your hearts and not your garments." The word "rend" means to tear apart. What God is saying to them and to us today is this: I don't want a show from you. I want an authentic heart change. Save the performance because I am concerned about genuine repentance, not fabricated repentance."

I might not be on the same track as Needham, but I think it still applies. This song still speaks to me in the sense that it is basically saying to go to let go of my past, which I've been holding onto, and hold onto Him and feel all of the emotions that I've been running from. He wants me to stop pretending that I'm okay and actually have a real change, a real healing, a real freedom, a real deliverance.

All I have to do is be shattered glass of an empty jar and rend this heart He gave me.

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