"I'll tuck you in."

I've always had a hard time when night rolled around. Since I was a little girl, I've been terrified of the night, which includes sleeping and my bed. I believe it stems from my past. I get anxious when it's time to go to bed and I just don't want to, no matter how exhausted I am. Sometimes, it helps to have a light on or to sleep somewhere else, but those things only seem to mask the fear for a little while. It seems my fear knows how to overcome those things.

This might not flow very well, just to let you know. There has been a lot of chaos going on in my life these past few weeks since meeting my dad. I've been trying to run from a lot of emotions that I don't want to deal with. And there are many reasons behind this, but I won't get into it right now. That's for another posting.

But, I have this fear of nighttime. I was at my friend's house last night and her sister started talking to me about being afraid at night. I was surprised, because I wasn't sure how she knew I was dealing with this fear. She was talking about her own fear, and it was comforting to know that someone else was afraid, too. She told me that at one point, God spoke to her and said, "Don't be afraid, you are Mine." To her, that gave great comfort. She said He was saying the same thing to me, but it didn't seem to provide the comfort I needed.

That night before bed, I was praying with my friend. I prayed for peace and for His protection as I slept. As we finished praying, we hugged, and a thought popped into my head. I laughed and, in answer to her confused, "What?", said, "He's waiting to tuck me in."

When I thought about this, the fear seemed to leave and I was actually wanting to get to bed. I've never thought of Him waiting for me at my bedside to tuck me in. But, He is. He's already gone before me to my bed. He's checked under the bed and shooed away all the monsters and He's chased away all the demons from under the covers. He's swiped away all the demons that hang out over my bed and He's ready to tuck me in. Not only will He tuck me in, but He'll sing over me until I fall asleep, and will continue even after I'm already asleep. He'll sit by my bed all night long and protect me. This gives me some comfort. If I think on this, going to bed doesn't seem so bad.