More Than the Sand

There are a few people in my life whom I care about deeply and think about often. I'm sure you have them in your life, too. And I also have a few people in my life who know me pretty well. They know my likes and dislikes, my quirks and even my faults. You probably have a few of those people in your life, too. Those are the people who can read me like an open book. 

However, as much as they care about me and I about them, our knowledge of one another is limited. We can never know all there is to know about one another. There is only One Who knows all there is to know about us and Who cares about us more than anyone who loves us ever could. 

I was reading Psalm 40 today and was struck by verse 5. It reads, "Many, O LORD my God, are Your wonderful works which You have done; and Your thoughts toward us cannot be recounted to You in order; if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered" (NKJV). David wrote similar words in Psalm 139:17-18: "How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand..." (NKJV). 

If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand. 

 I don't know about you, but it leaves me dumbstruck to read that someone, anyone, would think of me that much. And yet, He does. If you look at a small sampling of sand, even that is an innumerable amount. And yet, His thoughts about us outnumber all of the grains of sand.

Scripture also says that He knows the number of hairs we have on our head (Luke 12:7, Matt. 10:30). My best friend doesn't even know that about me. I don't know that about me! Yet He does! He loves us and cares about us so much that even the number of hairs on our head matter to Him and are known by Him. When one falls out, He's aware of that. I'm not even aware of that! 

We are loved and known and cared about more deeply than we realize. I cannot begin to comprehend His love and tender care for me. There's a song by Steffany Gretzinger called, "No One Ever Cared for Me Like Jesus." This, my friend, is the truth. There is no one we have ever known who has ever cared for us like Jesus. No one ever has and no one ever will. It is more than we can comprehend, but it is the truth. It's incredible to think that the one person in your life who loves you and cares for you more than any other does not love you nor care for you like Jesus. He is the One Who promises to never leave you nor forsake you. He promises to take care of you. He is the only one worthy of your affection. He is the God who loves. He is the God who cares. He is the God who sees and knows and is there. 

And He thinks about you more than all the grains of sand. 

Magic Eraser

When I taught preschool for my local Head Start program, we had to clean up at the end of every year. By that time, things had gotten, well, if you have children, you'd understand. The walls had darkened smudges on them from little grubby hands and the tables had a few crayon or marker scribbles here and there. When the cleaner and a rag didn't work, a Magic Eraser did the trick of getting those marks up and of getting those grubby hand smudges off the walls.

You've heard of a Magic Eraser, right? It's a little white 3D rectangle made of some magic material that somehow erases smudges and marks that other cleaner refuses to make budge. I've noticed that as I use the eraser, it becomes dirty. It takes on the dirt, so to speak, of whatever it's being used on. After a few uses, the white eraser is no longer white, but pretty dirty looking. However, it has done its job.

I was listening to Natalie Grant's song, "Clean," tonight on repeat. If you've never heard it, I'd encourage you to give it a listen.



I've been walking through a journey of healing from trauma and recently had a major deliverance of some pretty gnarly stuff. As I've been processing the last few weeks, I've noticed that I feel shame for the things that happened and the things that I did and was made to do. Today, as I was processing with the Lord, this song came to my mind, and I was struck by the line, There's nothing too dirty, that You can't make worthy.

See, I don't know about you, but there are some things that I just think are too dirty. There are things that I try to clean up by myself, but they just won't budge. I can't get clean. But, just like the Magic Eraser can erase dirt and grime that other cleaner can't, my God takes His righteousness, mercy, and blood and, with hardly any elbow grease, erases all my dirt, filth, and grime. He makes me clean. Like a Magic Eraser, He, a perfect, pure, white, spotless lamb, takes on my dirt and filth, leaving me clean in His wake.

Are you feeling a bit dirty today? Take heart knowing that there is nothing too dirty that He can't make worthy. He can make you clean. All you have to do is ask Him. He's more than willing and ready.

A Tangible God

Throughout the last decade of my life, I have often been frustrated that God is not tangible. Many times I've just needed a hug from Him, or have just wanted to snuggle with Him. I've often cried out, "Why can't you just be tangible?!? I just want to feel you." I know He's with me, even though I can't feel Him. But, I just want to feel His arms wrapped around me. I want to hear His heartbeat as my head leans against His chest. I want Him to be touchable.

But, I know it's better that He's not. He told His disciples that it was better for them that He go away, so that He could send His Holy Spirit. His Spirit would be able to do what He could not. He could not be with each one of them at the same time no matter where they were, but His Spirit could be. Even though I know it's better that He's not tangible, I still want Him to be. I long to feel Him in a real, physical way.

I was journaling about all of this recently, asking Him if I could feel Him like I can feel my friend. So often I don't think I can feel Him. I try, but it doesn't feel real. In a moment of wanting Him to be so real, I wrote, "If you're real, I want to hear you. If you're real, I want to feel you. What do you smell like?" I have a sensitive nose. When I go into someone's house or meet someone, I notice their scent. Everyone's is different. Some of those scents are comforting, because they are associated with people I'm close with. It only seems to reason that God must have a scent, right?

After asking God what He smells like, my thoughts went into overdrive. I began to write,

You sound like the water trickling in the stream. You feel like a warm blanket wrapped around me. You smell like the earth after it rains. You sound like birdsong. You feel like cozy pajamas. You smell like fleshly bloomed flowers. You sound like the wind blowing through the trees, and you feel like the wind blowing through my hair. You smell like my favorite candle burning. You sound like the rain dripping on the roof. You feel like a warm shower. You smell like fresh brewed coffee. You feel like the sun shining warm on my face.

Scripture wasn't kidding when it was written that, "...the whole earth is filled with His glory" (Isaiah 6:3). He is all around me. All I have to do is look around to tangibly see, feel, hear, and smell Him. To smell Him, I just have to discover what scents bring me joy. To hear Him, I listen for what sounds bring peace to my soul. To feel Him, I think about what I can feel that brings comfort. And seeing Him? Well, I just look around.

He may not be tangible like you and me, but He's still a tangible God.

Living Hope

I was born in to a dysfunctional family. Maybe you were, too. If not, I'm glad for you. If so, I empathize with you.

My father was abusive in many ways fathers shouldn't be. And my mother? Well, she was a maternal narcissist. Both treated me in ways children shouldn't be treated by their parents. Both caused much trauma to me, starting practically from the time I was born.

As a child, I didn't see the dysfunction. Now, as an adult, I see it. I see it and wonder why both of my parents had to be abusive. Not only were my parents abusive and dysfunctional, but my sister as well. It hurts to realize that all three members of my immediate family abused me in multiple ways, and as a result, I don't have a relationship with any of them.

It's easy to think that I'm alone and to give in to the feelings of anger and immense sorrow over all that has been lost. I was working through some Scriptures regarding my identity in Christ when I came across 1 Peter 1:3:

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead"....

I've often wished that I had been born to different parents, to ones who loved me unconditionally and who didn't abuse me, keeping me safe, instead. When I read this verse, I realized that I've been given just that through Christ Jesus.

I have been born to a Parent Who loves me unconditionally and Who never abuses me. In fact, He hates abuse. He keeps me safe (1 John 5:18 says so). He is the best Parent I could ever want. I have been given new birth into a living hope. In the family I grew up in, I had no hope. So often I felt hopeless. But now, in this new family I've been born into, I have not just hope, but living hope. This is a hope that will never disappoint.

I could spend time wishing I'd been born to safer parents, but the truth is that even if I had been, they still would have disappointed me. But this Parent, the One Who gave His very Son so that I could have life and hope and everything I never had with my earthly parents, He will never ever disappoint me. I never could count on my earthly parents, but I can count on Him.

I have a new birth into a living hope. And I am never alone.

Light Always Wins

Have you ever watched a series that you couldn't get enough of, so much so that you watch it a second time? I never have, until I discovered a show on Amazon Prime titled Niko and the Sword of Light. I absolutely cannot get enough of this show.

The series is about a young champion whose mission is to defeat the darkness and free his people forever. Sounds like another Champion I know. Each episode finds Niko, the young champion, fighting darkness, making it flee, and freeing those whom it had held captive. It's such a beautiful parallel to Jesus fighting the darkness to set us free.

In a few episodes, it appears that the bad guy, Narest (the darkness), has won. But every time, somehow, Niko (the light) wins. Light always defeats darkness. Somehow.

But in those moments where it appears that darkness has won, hope seems lost for the characters. I wonder if that's how it was on the day of Jesus's crucifixion. The disciples must have lost all hope, for their Champion was now defeated. At least that's how it looked. There are moments in my own life where it appears that darkness has won. My hope wanes in those moments. But then, from somewhere, a glimmer of light appears. Light always defeats darkness.

And I'm thankful that light always wins. Darkness never overcomes light. It simply isn't strong enough. Go in a dark room and turn on a flashlight. The darkness cannot overcome it. Turn the lights off and light a candle. That single, tiny flame cannot be overcome by the darkness. No matter how small the light, darkness cannot overcome it.

It looked like darkness had won on that crucifixion day. But the Light of the world could not be overcome, no matter how dark death was. Darkness was strong, but the Light was stronger.

What darkness are you facing? What darkness looks like it's winning? Take hope knowing that there is no darkness strong enough to overcome light. And hold on to the Light of the world. He's your Champion, defeating the darkness and setting you free forever.