Sunday, March 17, 2013

Where Am I Looking?

A friend of mine wrote out some encouraging note cards with Scripture verses and quotes from books and devotionals for me a while back. I've recently gotten them out and have been clinging to their truths and the hope that they give. One of these note cards says this: "You'll be upset if you look at people too much. If you look around, you'll be distracted. If you look within yourself, you'll be discouraged. Only as you keep looking unto Jesus will you develop confidence and peace." (Life's Ultimate Privilege by DeVern Franke.)

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I have a tendency to look around and at myself and at other people, all leading to everything but confidence and peace.

Looking at people: I have a tendency to care too much about what other people think about me. This has been making itself evident, yet again, as I've been questioning what other people think about where I am spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. My questioning has been leading to frustration, as I have some who tell me I'm okay where I am, but others who indirectly say that I'm not okay where I am. It is also leading to lies and shame and more attacks from the enemy.

Looking at/within myself: I have the false belief that I need to make things happen, but in reality, I can't make anything that needs to happen, happen. I'm setting myself up for discouragement, and I have been discouraged. The looking at other people has led to upset because I have no idea if they are right or wrong, and the looking at myself has led to discouragement because I've been dependent on myself when I can't do anything in my own strength.

Looking around: I've been looking around at everything but the One I need to be looking at and have lost my focus. I think I'm like Peter when he walked on the water. He was doing well, but then he started to look around and got distracted and sank.

I had something happen today that brought all of this to my mind:

I was driving down the road this afternoon to meet a friend for lunch and was stopped behind a line of vehicles at a red light. The light turned green, and traffic started to move. I had stepped on the gas a little when I looked at the person in the car next to me. I got completely distracted. When I looked back to the road in front of me three seconds later, traffic had stopped again and I had to slam on my breaks to avoid colliding with the vehicle in front of me. I was so relieved that I looked back to the road when I did.

Just like I have to keep my focus on the road when driving, I have to keep my focus on Jesus. I can't be looking at other people, within myself, or just looking around. If I don't keep my focus on Him, I'm going to crash, like I almost did today.