You is...

"You is kind. You is special. You is important"

Am I?

This line comes from the movie, The Help, that recently came out in theaters and is a fast-selling new best-selling novel. My friend and I love this line. I think it was our favorite in the movie, aside from one other.

The main character, who is a black maid in the rural south, says it numerous times to the little girl she cares for because the child's mom thinks the girl is too fat and not pretty enough, so she just doesn't take care of her. Basically, she rejects her child.

So, when the child is reprimanded by her mother for doing things children her age would do, her maid says those three things to her to instill the truth into her and to counteract the things her mother is inadvertently telling her.

My friend and I have said this to each other a few times since we've seen the movie. "You is kind. You is special. You is important."

But, am I? Am I special and important?

I was talking to my best friend the other night and we were uncovering some very deep roots of lies that I have believed for a long time. These lies stem from the hurt from people in my life who were supposed to love and take care of me. Those people failed, though they may have done their best, and left some lasting impressions. These lies affect how I perceive myself and how I respond to God. I've only just begun to realize these things and it's very overwhelming.

'You is an inconvenience.'
This is one of the lies I believe and I think it stems from feeling like the things I need aren't important, and I'm just in the way. Or, that it's too much to take care of me.

'You is not worth being taken care of.'
This lie comes from being told to take care of my younger sister all the time when I was younger, but having no one to really take care of me. I always had to ask for a hug instead of having my mom sense when I needed one. I was always the one to take care of me, or so it seemed. I had the responsibility of taking care of others.

'You is not worth my time.'
This lie has manifested itself more in these last years. It just seems that my mom doesn't have time to talk to me or do the things that are important to me. The evening before my college commencement, the school held a senior dinner for them and their parents and family. I told my mom about it and she didn't put any effort into coming. I told her many times that I wanted her to be there. There was also going to be a chapel service after the dinner. She was a half-an-hour away and didn't bother coming. It gave me the message that I wasn't worth her gas/gas money to drive there when she was going to have to drive back to the hotel after it was over and then drive back to the school in the morning. It also gave me the message that I wasn't that important or that what was important to me wasn't important at all. It hurt a lot that she didn't come because it was a very important and special evening to me. All night I fought crying.
This lie has also been shown through our phone conversations. She used to have a trac phone and so she had to buy minutes to use the phone. I tried talking her into getting a shared phone plan with me through Verizon or something, but she wouldn't look into it. She recently got a shared phone plan with my sister, though, and didn't even ask me about being on it. The morning before my commencement, she and I were talking, and I got quiet and so she said she was going to go because "we're/you're (I'm not sure if she said 'we're' or 'you're') wasting minutes." Wasting? Is that what I am? A waste of minutes?

There are more, but this is overwhelming already. Lies come from all over the place and go so deep.... The analogy I like to use is that of a crab grass root. If you have ever pulled one up, you would know that they can be huge in both length and width. Most times, you pull and it breaks, so you dig some more, pull and it breaks, dig some more...you get the picture. That's what this feels like.

And I have more than one.

So what is the key to believing the opposite to these lies? Is it about looking into the mirror at yourself every single day (maybe 21 days, since they say that if you do something for 21 days in a row it becomes a habit) and saying the truths until you begin to believe them? If so, I better get friendly with my mirror. Or, is it about getting to the root of the lie (the wound that brought the lie-infection)? Do you begin to believe the truth as you heal?

When will I be able to say to myself, "You is important. You is worth being cared for. You is worth His time. You is worth being loved. You is beautiful. You is not an inconvenience. You is valuable." and actually believe it?