h/Home

home is not a good place for me. I have never wanted to go home. If it's not my mom fighting with my sister, it's my mom fighting with me. Or, it's my mom having her boyfriend over for the night, making me uncomfortable so I leave and spend the night somewhere else. Home used to be my safe place, away from the bullies at school. That was, until things with my sister got worse and my mom started pushing me away, so I feel. Then, no place was safe.

When I left for college, I was relieved. I finally was away from home. Until holiday vacations rolled around. Then I found myself back in the middle of things. My visits home were never enjoyable. I wished them over before they had even begun. Luckily, this summer I didn't have to go home for long. I was there for about 5 days before I left again to move into the family's home I would be house sitting for later in the summer. I had a summer job at the school library and would be on my own while the family was away.

And it flew by. I moved in on May 26, and I am leaving this Friday, August 21. I am sad about leaving, because this summer has been great. It's been great to be with a family that is typical, and not completely abnormal. I have been able to see how a family is supposed to interact, with only minor disruptions and arguments. I've seen how a husband and wife are supposed to interact and how a father is supposed to interact with his children. It has been a relief.

But, it's ending. I am going home.

But, this morning in church I was reminded of something. This world is not my home. I will be going Home one of these days where moms and dads don't get divorced, dads don't hurt their children, moms don't lie to their daughters, and sisters love each other. Dads don't leave and moms don't get hurt. At my new Home, it is safe. I can't wait to go Home. And the best part is that I will finally have a Dad: a tangible Dad. I can sit in His lap, cry on His shoulder, and feel His arms around me. He won't hurt me, leave me, or push me away, but will love me: only love me.

I can't wait to go Home!