If You Want Me To

This song by Ginny Owens says it all for me right now. It's been a tough past few months. The signs have been unclear, and I haven't known the reason why He brought me to this place. But, I'll walk through the valley.

For the last two years, I have attended college at Taylor University Fort Wayne. This year, however, my classmates and I will not be attending: the undergraduate program has been canceled. The reason: too much money was being lost to the Upland campus. We got the announcement on October 13, 2008, at 1:00 in the afternoon. The meeting took place in Eicher Student Commons building in the Dining Commons, widely known as the DC. Tears were shed as the announcement made its way into the ears of each student, faculty,and staff memeber.

At this time, it was encouraged of us to rely on God, but, how could we? I mean, for me, this was the only good thing that had happened in my life in a long time. Why was it suddenly being taken away? I didn't understand. So many good things were taking place there. Why did it have to come to an end? The signs are so unclear.

At the end of the 2009 school year, we said goodbye to each other as we made our way home. Many of us would see each other again at Taylor University Upland, but some of us didn't know the next time we would see one another, and we still don't. We don't understand why it has to end. The only thing we know is that we are moving on out. God is spreading us to the ends of the earth to put to practice the things we have learned at that institution.

And while the transition may be hard, as it is for many of us, God is with us. He is leading us. We are in the valley as we transition into this new chapter of this life that God has written for each of us. I have heard a comment from one of my friends who I met at TUFW, that she can't wait to get to Heaven to the wedding feast. There is going to be a time for the people from TUFW, alumni, faculty, and staff, to share where God took each one and how He used them for His glory. I cannot wait for that day!

But, in the mean time, I am here. I am here at Taylor University, longing for TUFW. I long for the place that has been my home, my safe haven, for the past two years. I desire to return to the place where much healing has taken place in my life these last two years. But I know I cannot go back, at least not right now. He has called me to a place here and now. He has said it would not be easy, but that I would not go alone.

I don't know why I am here. The only thing I know is that He has a plan and a purpose. He has me in the palm of His hand and I know that His plan is good. It's just that it's not my plan.

But, being in the valley is never my plan. But, I will walk through the valley if you want me to.