It takes time

I hate that people keep saying "it takes time" to get over the death of my cousin. I don't think time can ever heal or help me get over this loss. It's such a dumb phrase..."it takes time"...ugh! Who says that? I mean, come on...get real.

I especially hate that people say I have time...I feel like I don't have time. They say I have time when it comes to healing all the wounds from my dad, but I feel like they are wrong. I feel like I don't have time. I feel like I have so many other responsibilities that keep me from having the time I need to deal with my issues. I mean...I need to get a job. I just heard that the debt I owe to my college was just sent to the collections agency. I have no way to even begin paying on it, and I am not going to be getting a job anytime soon because of where I feel God is leading me for the next 6 months so that I can deal with my issues and have the time I need. But, what happens if I don't get a job and start paying on this? Does it really matter? I mean, we're in the end times, right? "God, I really need you to come through on this. I need you to do something."

I hate that so many things take time...and so much time. But, how much, exactly?

One of my passwords to an account I had used to be 'He will restore me'. I think I believe that, but I'm not sure. Is it possible? So many things in my life are broken...can they be restored? Can I be fully restored? How long will it take for Him to restore me?

I don't have any answers to these questions...only that it takes time...and I'm tired of hearing that.