Lessons and Fits

God is trying to teach me something, and I'm throwing a fit about it. Why am I throwing a fit? Because it's a tough lesson to learn. Last year, I had many people around me who I knew I could go to and talk with and sort of depend on them. I've always been dependent upon people, because I didn't know the truth and safety of depending on God. I had a lot going on in my life and ran to those people.

But this year, they are nowhere in sight.

My roommate graduated and we talk occasionally, my hall director left, and my counselor left. I have a new roommate, a new hall director, and a new counselor, yet again. This is not the first for all three, as I have had a different roommate every year of college. This is my third hall director, and my fourth counselor in three years. Can you sense my feelings of being lonely and overwhelmed?

It's been difficult having a new roommate. I'm still trying to adjust. She's gone a lot, which is difficult. I love having people around, so I'm feeling quite lonely not having her in the room. This new hall director is great, but I miss the old one and the relationship we had. This is the same with my new counselor. I really miss my other one. I'm having to rebuild all these relationships, and it's hard. It's taking a lot of effort.

And I'm throwing a fit about all of this. I don't want to build new relationships and I want the other people back because they were there to lift me up. But, I feel God is saying to me, "Mindy, you don't need those people to depend upon anymore. You know you can depend on Me, and you can do this on your own, if you rest in My strength."

While I know His words to be true, I'm still throwing a fit about it. Even though my Father knows what is good for me, it's not what I want. I want those people back, but He says, "No. It's time you stand on your own."

So, I'm throwing this fit, but I'm learning this lesson. God knows what is best for me, and I need to trust Him in that. I am a senior in college, and will be on my own soon. I won't have these people and relationships around me after this. I don't want to be learning this lesson two weeks before I graduate. It's best I learn it now.

And He is seeing to that.