Letting Go of the Oars

Last weekend, God showed me something. 

I saw myself in a boat with oars headed down a river with a heavy flow. I had the oars in my hands, using all of my strength to try and row myself back up-stream, when really I need to let the water carry me where it needs to take me.

I know God has been trying to take me places in Him and in this healing process that I'm terrified to go. I think I'm afraid of the unknown and lack of control. He is asking me to trust Him, but I've been saying no because of fear. I've been so afraid of the process that I've been fighting it and trying to make things happen on my own.

On Sunday, I was at the altar, asking God why He wouldn't just take the oars away. He told me that if He took them away, He'd be taking my choice away.


I have the choice to continue to fight and use all of my strength to try and row back up-stream, or I can let go of the oars and trust that He will take me only where He wants me to go, trusting that His plan is good and that He is with me and that He has me and isn't going to leave, but above all, trusting that He is good.

I realized tonight that by fighting against the flow of His waters by trying to row against them I'm wasting my energy. Wouldn't it be better to rest and let Him carry me where He wants me to go?

By letting go of the oars, I'm letting go of my fears and placing my trust in the One Who deserves it.

(Fear doesn't deserve my trust. What has it ever done for me?)