Because you're worth it

As I was watching TV tonight, a commercial for L'Oréal came on. Their slogan, "Because you're worth it," caught my attention.

I have come to believe the lie that I am not, indeed, worth it. If you read my earlier post, 'You is...' you would know that it mostly stems from my childhood, but has also taken root due to things in my adult years: things my parents didn't do that they should have out of their 'parental duty'. Some things I believe are that I'm not worth being listened to, not worth someone's time, not worth caring for...I believe that I'm not worth the space I occupy or the air that I breathe. That's what it comes down to.

This commercial, however, tells me that I am worth it. I know it's a cosmetic commercial, and that it's saying I'm worth spending a lot of money on just to have beautiful skin, hair, nails, etc. But, the message I receive is that I'm worth it. And I can take that any which way I want to.

I think I'm beginning to uproot the lie that I'm not worth it and plant the truth that I am worth it. I've actually been standing up for myself. When I'm talking and my friend does something like unmute the TV and start paying attention to the commercial that's on or gets up and walks away, I say something. That's not something I do...EVER. I internalize everything and never speak up for myself. And what I've done here is fought the lie that I'm not worth being listened to.

It happened again today. I spoke out for something that just didn't seem right as a way a friend should and shouldn't be treated. I might have been wrong, or my friend might have disagreed, but I spoke up and out. To be honest, I felt bad for doing it. I felt like I had done something wrong. Part of the reason I never speak up or out is because I'm afraid of being wrong and of being reprimanded for being so. I'm not even confident in the things I do say at any given time because I'm afraid they are going to be wrong or stupid or insignificant. That's how I feel most of the time: insignificant. I'm not important is how I feel and what I believe. It's the message I've received most of my life. I'm not important enough to be taken care of. I'm not important enough to be loved. I'm not important enough to be protected. I'm not important enough to invest in. My friend and I were talking about how I had spoken up and she said it's about time that I do. "You deserve to be right for a change." is what she said, or something to that effect.

I'm beginning to see that the more I see my worth, the more I stand up for myself. I've never seen myself as having any worth. I've been the one that everyone depends upon, picks on, uses and abuses, rejects...but never the one with intrinsic worth and value.

I'm not sure why things are changing. I've been away from home now since July 1, and have no idea when I'm going back. Maybe God has been teaching me these things so that if His will is that I go home for a time, I am able to fight the lies that so easily entangle me there.

I'm not important enough to...you fill in the blank. What do you believe about yourself? If you don't believe that you are important enough or any of the other things I've listed, you should. Because you are worth it. Whatever it is, you are worth it. I know it's not easy. It's taken me a very long time to get to this place. It's a constant fight to uproot the lies and plant the truth. But it's a fight that's worth it. We're worth it.