Walking on Water

Lately I've been walking on water.

Okay, not really...only figuratively speaking. I've been keeping my eyes on Jesus and walking on the waters that threaten to take me under. It's been wonderful!

And then last night I started to sink. I momentarily took my eyes off of Jesus and put them on my fears. Even a glimpse was enough to make Peter sink. It was for me, too.

I'm going to Ecuador in June, which you would know if you've read any of my last few posts. And up until now, I've kept my eyes on Jesus. But then last night, my eyes caught sight of something else. Questions. Doubts. Fears. and it all made me want to back out of the trip. It made me want to say 'No' to the calling I feel God has set before me.

But then His hand reached out for mine, and I grabbed hold. He pulled me up from under the waves. I'm walking again, but have to be careful to keep my eyes on Him.

What grabbed my attention? Sleep. fears about sleep. I struggle with sleep at times. It's a vulnerable time for me because of the things that happened in my past. My fear is wondering if I'll be able to sleep okay in Ecuador. Will I be able to sleep without my pillow? my weighted blanket? my safety blanket? music?

And when I looked at those things, I sank. Keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus means trusting Him. completely. without question. abandoning reality, in a sense. Colossians 2:17 says that 'the reality, however, is found in Christ.' Maybe I'm taking the verse out of the context of what it's really talking about, but I love it no matter. Because really, the reality is found in Christ. My reality is found in Him. He sees the big picture. He goes before and behind, and surrounds me on all sides. He knows about my sleep issues. My sleep issues are my reality. But He is bigger than all of that. And He has called me. And the reality is that He gives His beloved sleep (Psalm 127:2). I can lie down and sleep in peace, for He alone makes me dwell in safety (Psalm 4:8). And the sleep of a laborer is sweet (Ecclesiastes 5:12).

I believe that God can do anything. Nothing is too hard for Him (Jer. 32:27, Gen. 18:14, Luke 18:27). My sleep issue is not too big for Him. He can take care of it so that sleep is no longer an issue.

So I'm going to trust Him. I'm going to keep walking on the waters with Him, keeping my eyes fixed on Him. And if I get distracted by something else, I'll reach out for His hand, because He'll be reaching for mine. And I'll remind myself of the reality that is found in Him. And I'll keep walking.