In Its Time

In my backyard, there are pots of lilies that I have anxiously been waiting for to bloom. Two days ago, I noticed that some of the pink lilies' buds had turned pink, indicating their imminent bloom. Waking up yesterday and heading outside for my quiet time, I was sure they would be open. To my disappointment, they were not. They simply weren't ready to open yet. What difference one extra day makes, I don't know, because four of them were open this morning. Finally.

The other day, I was listening to my best friend back in Indiana talk about how she, too, has been waiting for things to bloom in her yard. She has planted and watered and waited and waited some more. She said that never before has she so looked forward to Spring. Why is this Spring different for her? Because she has put work into planting and is anticipating the beauty of it all.

Waiting is hard. When you have put so much work into something, it's hard to wait for the end result. There is so much anticipation, expectation, and hopefulness. But it can all wither away when the results don't come when expected. But don't lose heart.

There's a verse in Ecclesiastes 3 that can ease our impatience. Verse 11 says, "He has made everything beautiful in its time." 

It's interesting to me that this verse seems to be in the wrong tense. Shouldn't it say, He will make, instead of He has made? I'm sure the Bible writers didn't get it wrong. When you think about it, it's actually quite hopeful, because has lets us in on a little secret: He's already done it, whether we see it or not.

The pastor at my church says something quite often that, for a while, I struggled to understand. But I think I get it now. He says that we live in the "already, but not yet." God has already won the battle, but the end isn't her yet. God has already saved us, but we're not home with him yet. God has already (fill in the blank), but (fill in the blank) yet. 

What are you hoping for? What are you waiting for? I'm waiting for healing. So often, I wonder, "Why can't it just be now? Why can't it be done now? Why do I have to keep waiting?" Like that lily, what difference does one extra day in its bud make? Why couldn't it have bloomed the day before? Why can't my healing be today?

Timing. It's all about timing. God knows the timing of when things need to happen. Our job is to trust Him. I couldn't make that lily bloom. All I could do was wait, give it water and food, and trust that when it was ready, it would bloom. I can't make my healing be today. All I can do is trust that God has the perfect timing for my healing. In the mean time, I continue to soak up His Word, drink in His presence, and wait.

If the lily would have bloomed when I wanted it to, it wouldn't have been ready. It needed some things before it could bloom. I think that if God were to heal me now, I wouldn't be ready. In this process of waiting, I'm getting to know Him in ways I don't believe I would if my healing were instant. If God stripped off all the layers that require healing in one go, I don't think I'd survive it. And I would miss out on so much of what He wants to do in this process.

I am healed, but not yet. He has made Mindy beautiful in her time. Trust His timing. You won't be sorry.

Papa Bear

Growing up, I didn't have a dad. I never got to experience the protectiveness of a one, not even his over-protectiveness. I never had a dad who kept me safe or who was willing to fight those who were hurting me. In fact, the dad I did have was the complete opposite of all of that.

I love the Psalms. They often give words to things I'm feeling, and they express that which I fear to express. They give permission, so to speak, to feelings I think God disapproves of. But the Psalms also provide hope to my heart. They point me back to the One to whom I belong. They reorient my heart to truth.

Psalms 18 is one of my favorites. I love the imagery it contains of God thundering down from Heaven to rescue David after hearing his cry for help. I was reading it once again today when I realized something I never had before: I have the ultimate Papa Bear.

In this psalm, David is singing to the Lord after the Lord delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from Saul. There were a lot of bad people who wanted him dead, Saul being number one. David says in verses 3-5, "I called to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies. The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me." That's some pretty serious distress he was in. I've been in distress before, but not like David. I've never had someone trying to kill me. He goes on to say in verses 6-9a, "In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because he was angry. Smoke rose from his nostrils; consuming fire came from his mouth, burning coals blazed out of it. He parted the heavens and came down...."

There are several things that stand out to me in those verses. First, the Lord absolutely is worthy of praise. Second, David said, "I cried to my God for help." The Lord is a personal God. He isn't just some God, He was David's God. He is my God. Third, the Lord heard his voice. His cry went into God's ears. Way too often do I think He doesn't hear me. Fourth, the earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook. Why? Because God was angry. And fifth, God came down.

In these verses, God is acting as Papa Bear. This psalm reorients my heart to the truth that He is my Papa Bear, able to move heaven and earth on my behalf. I love the fact that God was angry. Though I'm not a parent, as a preschool teacher, if I think someone is messing with 'my kids' it enrages me. How much more so would it enrage that child's parent? God was angry because someone was bullying His David. When the enemy comes to attack me, you better believe it makes God angry. I'm His Mindy and nobody better mess with His kid. I can imagine Him saying to my enemies, "Stop messing with my kid or I'm coming down there. And if  I come down there, you're going to be sorry."

David tells us in verses 13-14 that "The LORD thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded. He shot his arrows and scattered the enemy, with great bolts of lightning he routed them." I love this picture of God thundering from Heaven, shooting arrows of lightning at the bad guys who were trying to hurt David. The beautiful thing is that He's not just the God of David, or the God of the Old Testament. He didn't just do those things way back then. He does them now, He's the God of today, and He's my God. He's my Papa Bear who hears my cries for help. He's my Papa Bear who is angry when I'm attacked. He's my Papa Bear who comes down to save me. And I'm His Mindy.

Not the Same

Have you ever been to a restaurant and it just wasn't that great? Maybe you got food poisoning or had bad service or any of the other things that makes for a bad experience at a restaurant. I'm sure we all have. When it comes time to go out again, do you let that experience keep you from trying a similar restaurant? Of course not. Why? Because it's not the same restaurant. The servers will be different people, the food will be different, the set-up of the restaurant will be different, and even the music playing might be different. It won't be the same experience. Right?

I found myself once again writing about how I'm fearful of trusting God's love because of the bad experiences I've had with my parents and other people. What if His love is conditional like theirs? What if His love is dysfunctional? What if His love is inconsistent or impure? There are so many more 'what if's' that I could fill a page with them. But, I think God dropped into my spirit tonight that it's like that restaurant. It'll be a different experience. Why? Because it's not the same. He's not the same as my parents. He's not the same as those other people in my life. It's going to be an entirely different experience than I've had before.

Just like I wouldn't let a bad experience at a restaurant keep me from going to one similar, I shouldn't let my experience of love with broken, sinful people to keep me from trusting and experiencing God's good, safe, unconditional, ridiculous, consistent, strong, pure love. He's just not the same as them.

God and Bob Ross

For the last week or so, I have been reading the account of when Saul pursued David in order to kill him. Now, David had done nothing to deserve being killed. On the contrary, he rescued Saul and his army from an angry Philistine giant. He should have been exalted. Instead, he was pursued like a criminal, hated by Saul, and wanted dead. So, he ran. He ran from the man who was out to kill him, who happened to be the king. 

While he was on the run, David had two opportunities to kill Saul. Neither time did he take that opportunity, though it would have meant the end of his running. Why didn't he take it? Because David respected the fact that Saul was the Lord's anointed. The Lord put Saul in his position as King and David knew it wasn't his right to take him out of it. David was honorable. Saul was not. In the moment where Saul realized for the second time that David could have killed him, he seemingly repented, asking David to come home. David, however, kept his distance. 

And then David got news that Saul was dead. His troubles were over. He didn't have to run anymore. He should have been relieved and joyous, right? But he wasn't. He lamented over Saul's death, because he respected God's choice of Saul as king. He honored the Lord's anointed, though the Lord's anointed didn't honor him. 

This account has taught me much in relation to a recent situation in my own life. But it was in that last part where David got news of Saul's death that I had so many questions: How did David really feel about Saul's death? If he kept a journal, what would he have written about Saul? Did David feel some relief that Saul was dead? And what purpose did Saul's pursuit of David serve? 

It was that last question that caught me the most: What purpose did Saul's pursuit of David serve? I mean, really, what was the purpose? Was it to teach David something? Was it so that we would have the Psalms? What was the purpose? 

This trail of thoughts lead me to my own life. What is the purpose for the things in my life that have not been good? I've had to reorient myself to the truth that God is not my enemy, and He does not plan for bad things to happen to me. He is not the author of evil. But those bad things happen and He isn't going to waste them. 

I think God is kind of like Bob Ross, or vice versa. Maybe Bob Ross has given us a lesson of what God is like. Bob Ross said there were only ever "happy mistakes." He'd turn accidental blobs of paint that fell onto the canvas into birds or trees. I think God is kinda like that. I think God saw in mind what He wanted my (and your) life to look like, but then the enemy dropped a nasty blob of paint on the canvas. Instead of freaking out and tossing the whole thing, God decided what He'd do with that blob of paint. Some of those blobs have turned into birds and trees and who knows what else. Others are still in the process of becoming something beautiful. 

There's not a reason for the pain, but He uses it for a reason. He never wastes a single thing, not even a nasty blob of paint. He didn't plan for it, but He'll use it. If we let Him, He'll use every single one to add to the masterpiece He is painting of our lives. And I bet it'll be better than a Bob Ross. 

"I know Him!!!!!!"

If you've seen the movie, 'Elf', you'll know about Buddy's love and obsession with Santa and Christmas. Everywhere he goes, he makes it look like Christmas, decorating the place way more than any of us would or could be able to. And with that, this post just took on more than I intended.

In the scene where the manager of the toy shop makes the announcement that Santa will be coming the next morning, Buddy loses it completely. He is so excited that Santa is coming that he bursts out in exclamations that he knows him. If you're not familiar with it, here's a quick clip from the scene I'm referring to:

Buddy has spent time with Santa. He knows what he likes and dislikes. He knows how he operates. He knows how he runs his workshop. Buddy knows Santa. He knows him intimately. And it shows in his excitement that he knows him. He passionately says, "I know him!" Buddy has a personal relationship with Santa.

Do I know Christ like Buddy knows Santa? Do I know what He likes and dislikes? Do I know how He operates? Do I know how he prefers His world to run? Do I know Him intimately?

And if I do know Jesus, does it show in my emotions? Do I get excited when I hear someone talking about the Jesus that I know? Do I passionately let others know that I know Him? Do I have that personal relationship with Jesus in which I can honestly say, "I know Him! I know Him so intimately and deeply and personally"?

The next thing I mentioned in the beginning of this post is how Buddy makes it look like Christmas everywhere he goes. This is nothing I intended to put in this post. But, here is it. And it is applicable for me as a Christian. 

Buddy is an elf. I'm a Christian. Buddy loves Christmas. I love Christ's Kingdom. Buddy brings Christmas wherever he goes. Do I bring Christ's Kingdom wherever I go? Buddy spreads Christmas cheer ("The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear"). Do I spread Christ's light? Do I bring all that represents Christ to those around me? Buddy left rooms changed, because of all his decorating. 

Do I leave places changed because of spreading the light of Christ? Do I spread the aroma of Christ wherever I go?

Who knew that watching 'Elf' would bring about so many deep, spiritual questions to reflect upon. 

I'm glad it has, though. I want to be like Christ as much as is possible. I want to know Him as much as is possible. And I want others to know Him. 

Do you know Him? He wants to know you. 

Following the Light

Never have I been so thankful for those reflectors separating the two lanes of traffic on the road as I was tonight.

As I began my 30 minute drive home from Bible study tonight, I felt a bit nervous. It was exceptionally dark and rainy, and my headlights aren't the brightest in the shop. But, as I began driving, I focused on those yellow reflectors, allowing them to guide me as to where the road was taking me. My nervousness gave way to confidence. The headlights from oncoming vehicles didn't bother me much, either, because I could still see the light. And the light shines brightest in the dark.

That is, until I turned down a road that lacked those reflectors. Then I grew quite cautious as I slowly made my way down the dark road. Any headlights from oncoming vehicles momentarily blinded me, causing me another moment of blindness after they passed, as my eyes adjusted back to the darkness from the flash of bright light. It was scary. I was afraid of losing control in the moments I couldn't see where the road was going. How I longed for those reflectors!

As I drove, God revealed to me that when I'm following Him, the Light, my way is illuminated, and I can go confidently down the path He has lit for me. When I'm following Him, any blinding lights that come from the opposite direction don't bother me, because I can still see the Light.

But, when I'm not following Christ, I walk in darkness. In the dark, it's easy to lose my way; to lose control. And the blinding lights that come at me, they cause confusion and insecurity, because I can't see where I'm going. They, too, can cause me to lose control and to lose my way.

I know that those little reflectors aren't lights. They just reflect the light. I'm so thankful that Jesus reflects the Father, the true Light. Jesus is the Light of the world. And I'm going to follow the Light all the way home.

Sun-Dried, Sin-Dried

I recently started eating plant-based foods, refraining from animal and dairy products. It's been quite an adventure! I have found a lot of foods that I love, including sun-dried tomatoes. They're my absolute favorite-so delicious!

I've been sharing my meals and recipes on Facebook and in texts to friends. When I try to type 'sun-dried', my fingers must hit the wrong button, because it reads 'sin-dried'. My typo struck me as significant the first time I saw it, and it has hit me every time since.

Am I sin-dried? Has sin so dried me up that I'm delicious to my enemy? Scripture says in 1 Peter 5:8 that our enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Do I look enticing to him?

Am I so sin-dried that I can't absorb anything from Jesus? Another question I ask is, "What has sin dried up in me?" What is it God has put in me that sin has dried up, so that I'm not useful to the Kingdom of Light?

I'm not sure about sun-dried tomatoes, but I'm thankful that this sin-dried person can be re-hydrated by God's mercy, forgiveness, and love. First John 1:9 says that, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." In Psalm 32:1-5, David says in vs. 4 that his 'strength was sapped as in the heat of summer' when he kept silent about his sin. He was sin-dried. But, in vs 5, he says, 'Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord." And you forgave the guilt of my sin.' He was all dried up by sin, but when he confessed, he was re-hydrated by Christ's forgiveness.

The good news is that this can be our same reality today. So, are you sin-dried? Ready to be re-hydrated? If so, turn to Jesus today. He's waiting with arms open wide.